where is sex going

Sex, Tinder and Millenials

where is sex goingI represent the generation that grew up without i-pad’s, smartphones and bitcoins. I have to tell you we had a lot of fun as kids and teenagers….we had dial phones, drive in cinema and boomboxes. Life was good. It was pretty easy, stress free living comparing to what we all are experiencing today.

Sex and everything that goes with it was quite mystery, it was not much talked about and there was a plenty left for imagination. Just to see naked pictures of my uncles Playboy magazine took a lot of work and advanced planning. The “good old days”!

I was supposed to do a research for my work and was checking out some articles online. And I have to say…what a shock it was to see what kinda material that you can find in very popular mainstream magazines. I probably have not looked at these magazines for about 10 years since I have been out of the country for awhile.

And I have to say…there’s been a big change!

Sex talk is so “in your face” and straight up and very technical. I was thinking about the age groups of people that are reading these magazine “articles” ( and I am not talking about Playboy or Penthouse ) articles. I’m guessing that 18+ is their main audience.

But who would think that it is perfectly “normal” these days to discuss ” pegging” your boyfriend, tying him up or finding his P- spot …but somehow good old 69 is “straight up garbage fire” ( according to one of their sex specialists ).

You might ask…under what rock she has been for past 15 years? This is how things are now…Maybe I was out of town for a bit..immersing in different cultures that are not as abscessed with porn like sex like the western world is…I was busy studying and traveling the world, learning about spirituality and meditating my heart out. Yes, keeping up with the latest sex columnist theories was not my priority.

The reason why I decided to touch this subject is simple. I feel like sex and discussions about it has become too technical, unpersonal and dry. Maybe because of the influence of porn (porn stars are not typically trying to represent sex accurately – they are presenting what people want to see ). Maybe because sex is so accessible from each and every phone and is only one click away and mostly free. Maybe because Tinder is such a success for “hooking up” ( eliminating the dating process almost completely).

What happened to the romance? Do you remember good old Erotica? Where is personal connection? Even in porn there used to be a story line no matter how cheesy it was.
Now most porn is just straight up brutality of 6 boys gang banging one girl or a boy. I get it…free market rules. They make what people want to see.

Seems like everyone is more concerned about “getting off” faster than before…and just trying to push the envelope as much as they can.

Do we live in the world where every woman wants to be tied up and beaten and every men wants to be pegged by his wife? Really? I don’t think so. But it feels like certain agendas are being pushed very strongly. I am not gonna go into the discussion about feminism and vagina hat protests…but somethings have changed in our psyche and how we view sex and sexuality.

According to research Millenials are having less sex than any generation in 60 years. Compared with baby boomers, Millenials look like nuns and priests. Why? I believe there are many reasons.

Some youngsters say that even casual sex feels too intimate. Fear of commitment on steroids?

Plus the third wave of feminists have done a lot of damage making men in general look like rapists. Many young ones that occupy their parent’s basements and play computer games have decided that it is much easier to just go with the porn…and… not to mention cheaper.

Do not forget that antidepressants lower sex drive…and they are so widely used by Millenials. Kids have too much school or work. Do not forget the fear of being emotionally involved and anxiety surrounding consent issues. And put on top of it online dating/Tinder…You get the picture!

Looks like they are scared…it is a fear based approach to existence. To me it looks like a decision to limit ones experience made by the whole generation.

Recently I had a conversation with a 23 year old friend of mine from Europe. He is a very nice, good looking, well educated young men who travels the world. There is only one thing that I find strange, he believes that he has to bring his “backpack with gear” to his dates.

Gear meaning BDSM bondage equipment, tape and whips…At his young age he thinks he needs to have all of that to enjoy sex. We always joke about it…”no tying up on the first date!” or someone might call the cops on you. It is a joke but I see very deep rooted issues here.

For many just 2 bodies are not enough anymore…they have to push it and push it…to reach the new level of satisfaction. What will these kids do in 10 years?

I don’t have issues with sex toys or couples trying to “spice up” their sex lives. That is all good…but the difference is …he is single…and there is no “spicing up” or a regular partner to spice up anything with… it is a lifestyle that so many are pushing these days. I am not judging anyone…just asking…where is this going?

I believe that our young ones are being steered into the dead end road… which looks much like creating patients for life with deep emotional and physical issues. This generation will have to deal with all new list of things that their parents never imagined.

It is very clear that sexual behavior appears to have changed between generations.

The question remains: are people happy with the sex they do have when they have it?

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